After having lived and contemplated the Trinitarian mystery, God delights in expressing to souls their greatness and their eternal destiny. It is not in accordance to what God asks from us to take delight in ourselves or in the gifts He grants.

The theme “soul of mine, look not at yourself” constitutes the seal that the Lord has willed to place upon the soul to guarantee the profound humility before the wonders that the Most High performs in the spirit, in order to help the Church.

 

Filled, inundated and taken over by the holy fear of God…”

 

On the 24th day of January, 1960, during one of my times of prayer […], suddenly, in one moment, full of expectant surprise, I began to sense, to penetrate and to grasp the greatness of God’s Angels, created with a most perfect nature to partake of Him in a very deep and very elevated manner; being raised to so high an exaltation to –exceeded and enthralled by the beauty of His Face, collapsed from love– adore Him in recognition of profound reverence, intoning canticles of praise to the infinite and coeternal Holiness of God.

And, suddenly! before my spiritual gaze appeared an Angel who, excelling among all in his beauty by the capacity for participation in God to which he was being lifted by God Himself in a glorious ascent to posses Him, was called “Beautiful Light,” received from the Infinite Light that over him so luminously was pouring forth from the infinite and torrential Springs of the Divinity.

Who […], before the expectation of my soul full of surprise and admiration, soared… soared… soared! above the other Angels, in the participation in the divine life, up to an unimaginable height, as though in an ascent of predilection on the part of God.

So that my soul contemplated him full of respect for that ascent in which he was being lifted in a swift launching of such a lofty elevation, that I saw him ascend, exalted above the other Angels, towards the possession, in participation, in God Himself; being this one so splendorous and so high, that there was no light like his light received from the divine Sun.

That is why that creature was called “Beautiful Light” full of the glares of the Eternal Sun. […]

And he possessed God so much, so much! that, when seeing himself so beautiful, so exalted and raised by God Himself; in one act of disordered self-complacency, becoming arrogant when seeing himself so beautiful, all his angelical being, in a madness of incomprehensible and hair-raising foolishness, he exclaimed: ”Who like me…?!”

And, turning blatantly towards the Infinite Creator who had poured Himself forth so much over him, he said: “I will not serve You.”

For which my soul, overawed by all it was seeing and grasping due to the cry of rebellion of such a Beautiful Light; full of terror, suddenly! contemplated that, in the face of the unimaginable and inconceivable foolishness of that: “who like me?!” “I will not serve You”; at that very instant, that so exalted a being, loosing all his beauty and becoming so monstrously darkened and blackened, fell from the height to which he had been lifted, with the speed of lighting and as though in a shrieklike cry of agonic despair, into a very deep and unfathomable Abyss, of terrible and hair-raising blackness; which opened at the same instant owing to that creature’s rebellion against its Creator who lifted him, in a loving outpouring of His power and goodness, above the rest of the other Angels to so much participation in the divine life itself.

Overcome by terror and fright, and all shaken up, I saw him disappear, full of desperation, with the speed of lightning in that deep depth of the crater of that open volcano which swallowed the blackened Light, that had been so Beautiful, in the depths of its tenebrosity; whereas Lucifer, turned into a horrifying devil, in an indescribable bitterness of eternal desperation, disappeared in that Abyss opened for him and for those who, like him, so wildly and foolishly said to God: “I will not serve You,” being separated forever from the possession of the Infinite Good –with which they would have filled all the capacities that God placed in their being for possessing Him in the most blissful joy of the happiness of the Blessed–; living in the desperation of one who has lost everything and forever! because of the creature’s rebellion against the Creator. […]

And when my spirit found itself overcome with horror and fright, all trembling and distressed on account of all it had contemplated, of Lucifer’s plunge into the Abyss which was created at that instant as a consequence of the “no” of the creature in rebellion against its Creator; full of surprise and overcome by fear! I began to see that my soul was being raised by God and led along the same path whereby I had seen Lucifer rise in participation in God, and from which I saw him fall for his arrogance, when rebelling against the Infinite Excellence of the God thrice Holy in his: “Who like me?!” “I will not serve You”…!

And terrified, horrified and shaking…! it saw myself go up… and up… and up… along the same path and in the same manner! in a transformation into God, to the participation in His divine life.

And when I attained to the degree of participation in God to which He had determined to raise me, there was engraved in the innermost depth of my spirit –leaving me overawed by terror– like a phrase without words, that was and has stayed inscribed and sealed as though branded for the rest of my life into the deepest marrow of my being: “This I wish to do to you. But look not at yourself, because, if you do, the same way he fell, so would you.”

Understanding, in penetration and terrified understanding, that if I looked at myself become haughty and disorderly in complacency, I could fall into Lucifer’s foolishness, blinded by my madness, and I would come to the situation to which he came with all its consequences. […]

That is why my soul has been left penetrated, overcome and swept over during my whole life by a holy fear of God, that makes me re peat from the deepest and from the most intimate part of my heart: “Soul of mine, look not at yourself either for good or for bad. Because, if you look at yourself, as Lucifer fell, so could you fall.” […]

Wherefore I live sighing, eager, in my tireless and insatiable search for giving glory to God and life to the souls, for the eternal Day when we will contemplate God without being able to offend Him or being able to lose Him forever. […]

 
Mother Trinidad de la Santa Madre Iglesia
 
An extract from the writing: “SOUL OF MINE, LOOK NOT AT YOURSELF…!”(Collection “Light in the night -The mystery of faith given with loving wisdom”  Booklet n. 13)

Note.- If you want to download the unabridged version of the extract, please click here.

Fragment of the video of Mother Trinidad “I have seen the Abyss being opened”, recorded on February 5th, 1989 (press PLAY):

 

He-Who-Is creates creatures so that they may be of Himself, and He creates them with an “I” able to submit to Him or not; and they, from time to time, on recognising themselves as so beautiful, say: “I am; I do not want to depend on You.” In the confusion of their mind, they lose their reason for being. And, on straying from God and living without Him, they expose themselves to face eternal disgrace. (15-9-66)
Is it opportune for you to think that the Abyss of the open volcano where those who separate themselves from God fall does not exist so you may live as if it did not exist, under the slavery of your own concupiscence? What will you do when, upon discovering that you were wrong, you are no longer in time? (1-10-72)
My God, how horrible envy is! It is the cause for great evils, because envy is the bitterest fruit of pride. It is the cry of “me alone!” obtained by all means. (21-1-65)